I came into the kitchen and noticed something strange happening to my cactus plant. A red bulb was sprouting out one of its leaves, and in the coming days more popped up. I was gifted this cactus over a year ago and in all that time, I had no idea it was capable of blooming. It may be obvious to people who recognize this as a Christmas cactus, but it never crossed my mind.
I’ve enjoyed admiring my cactus this past month, and its surprising transformation has stuck with me. There are many things in life I assume to be unchanging. From the dingy stop sign at the corner of my street to the decade-old “You’ve Got A Lawyer” billboard I pass driving down I-83. These things are always the same and I never think twice of them changing. With this cactus blooming, I’ve been reminded how assumptions can be misleading.
Last summer I wanted to write a blog post about my vitiligo. At the time, the skin condition had spread to my hand, appearing as white bleach marks at my fingertips and around my palm. In conversations with my dermatologist, I learned that its spread is unpredictable, although she’s seen cases where traumatic incidents like a car crash can cause a massive spread through the body. I spent a lot of time thinking about change at that time. I would look at my skin constantly, wondering where the vitiligo would go next, and trying my best to appreciate the normal skin I had left. Suffice it to say, it was a dramatic time for me. Lots of anxious thoughts coupled with heaps of indulgence in them. In the fall, I would leave my job, move back home, a begin a very different lifestyle than the one I had in Boston. As far as what happened with my vitiligo, the most unpredictable thing happened. It disappeared. The same patches I would obsess over on my hands and fingertips are today no longer there. I don’t think it’s a mystery: I am significantly less stressed than I was half a year ago, and my body is better for it. Change is unpredictable like that. Some say change is good, others despise it. I don’t know where I stand. Nothing is permanent, and even change can… change.
That sums up a little thing that’s been on my mind. I basically enjoy making blog posts a lot, so maybe the frequency of posts will change in the coming months. Maybe it won’t change. That’s the beauty of it.
